Today I met a super sweet person who told me that they could not do foster care because their heart was not wired that way. They would hate to say goodbye.
I wanted to slap her, but I get it.
I felt the same way. I used to say it too, but I am now on the other side of it.
Here is where that excuse does not work.
If anyone in the world was not wired for goodbyes, it's me.
I am a strong person. I do not cry. I am laid back. I don't really need to talk about my feelings. Some could describe it as bitchy. I just am not an emotional person, for the most part. Crying is not normal for me.
If you put me in front of a commercial where someone is saying goodbye to another person for a long period of time, or if I even hear about someone having to say goodbye to someone else, I will sob like a baby.
I hate goodbyes more than anything. My family can attest to this. I have always been this way. I see a commercial or a tv show and that lump starts to build up in my throat, the tears start streaming down my face, and I am done.
Goodbyes are not my jam. I am an emotional mess.
When my foster babies have left, and I know that it will be the last time I ever see them, I sob.
I am on the floor crying.
It is the worst thing ever.
So, if God wires people in a way to where they could "never say goodbye to a foster baby", I'm the piece de resistance.
However, I don't believe that God has wired us in this way.
I think it's a total crap excuse.
There could be plenty of reasons why you and your family are not able to foster. I am not negating those reasons at all, but being wired to where you couldn't say goodbye, is a cop out.
My goodbyes to my foster babies, while very painful, were the closest I have ever been to God.
Handing those babies over to a stranger, meant I had to hand them over to Him.
I had to put my trust in Him and pray pray pray that they would be kept safe and would know Him one day.
We are getting ready to start fostering again, and I am terrified.
It is scary!
I know it will hurt.
It will be so sad when they leave, but I also know that God has equipped our family in a way that we can foster well.
We can protect children and love them like our own.
So, yes. It will be hard, but this is what I ask myself.
'Self, could you go up to a child and say, "I'm sorry. I can't take you in because it will be way too hard to say goodbye to you. Sorry!"'
Seems silly, right?
So, if your reason for not fostering today is because you couldn't handle the goodbye. Buck up. Pull on your big boy pants or your big girl pants, and recognize that that is not a legit reason at all.
To be clear. I want to adopt. I don't want to keep saying goodbye, but adoption means another family has been broken up. So we will be there to adopt if needed.