Peace That Passes All Understanding


I found a lump on Jackson's neck two days ago.

I called the doctor and he told me what to look for. 

I then did the dumbest thing that you can possibly do.

I started researching on the internet.

Reader: Oh Sarah! That is so stupid! Don't ever research stuff on the internet! You know better than that!!!!

Well, here is my thought on the matter.

In a way, I agree.

I should not have looked anything up because it has made me beyond worried.

At the same time, I as his mother, have the responsibility to take every single precaution possible. 

I, along with his more level headed dad, am his biggest champion and fighter. 

While doctors will care about him and take great care of him, I am going to be the most concerned about him.

Even though I am now extremely paranoid of some horrible possibilities, I also know exactly what to be looking for, and I know exactly what to ask the doctor when we drive to the city on Monday. 

Reader: Sarah. Just wait and see! I'm sure it will go away!

Well, I just don't want to chance that with my baby.

I would much rather drive 3 hours and make sure that he is ok.

I would much rather him have to get a needle prick to get blood work done to make sure that something is not horribly wrong. 

I read a lot from moms who wrote that they wished they had not waited.

I read a lot from people, with cancer, who said, "Don't wait!"

So, I am going to be proactive. 

However, that is not the point of my post. 

The point is this:

I stayed up after the first night of research doing this...I researched, I prayed, I cried. I researched, I cried, I prayed. I research, I prayed, I cried. I cried, I researched, I prayed. 

The next day, I was a hot mess also.

I told my close friends and family about this.

I asked them to pray for us and for Jackson.

Today, my sister in law messaged me and told me that she had been praying for us. 

I woke up today completely fine.

I was not and am not nervous.

I am calm.

I have peace. 

It is just so crazy to me because for the last two days, I have been a hot mess. 

Today, I am fine.

I have faith that God will handle everything.

I will continue to pray that this lump will just go away, and that if it doesn't it will only be a clogged lymph node or a lymph node that is simply fighting off some infection that we can't see.

But, I will remain at peace because friends and family are praying for that for me,

I will continue to have peace because that is what God wants for me. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Anyways, I write this just because it kind of blew my mind that I went from LOCA! to totally chill. (All without using oils!)

I have just experienced peace that passes all understanding and I wanted to share it.