I decided to jump on the bandwagon of all things "Grey," but wanted to put a twist on it.
"50 Shades of Hey" was born.
(I should clarify that there are not actually 50 because I do have a bit of a life.)
(Also, I was extremely surprised at the way this post actually turned out in the end.)
(I planned on being completely sarcastic and mean the entire time...totally embarrassing to say, but still true. However, I found while writing the first 10 that God don't joke around when it comes to judging others.....)
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, could you seriously not come up with a more interesting book cover? I know it had to be grey, but since this stupid picture is all over my news feed, I would have at least appreciated something other than a tie.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, Really? You stole the exact same story as Twilight, but made it dirty? Really? Weren't all of our brain cells already harmed by the amazing story of a vampire, a girl, and a werewolf? You felt the need to jump on the money making bandwagon of all things Twilight?
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, let's talk a little bit about what you are doing to our teenage girls. Do you remember what it was like to be a teenage girl? It was hard! You wanted to be loved sooo badly. You would have done anything to be accepted. It was hard enough without a book telling you that it is ok for the guy that you like so much to basically beat the crap out of you in the name of love.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey. I have a teenage niece, and I want to punch you in the face for creating this money making franchise. Sure your books are for "mature readers" and your movie is rated R, but do you actually think these teenage girls won't sneak into your movie and didn't purchase your book without letting their mom's know. Or even worse, read their mom's book once she was finished with it?
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, Have you thought about us wives? Did you think about how many struggles we were already dealing with when you wrote this book? Now, are we supposed to believe that this kind of sex is ok? Are we supposed to become even more secure in our sex lives or is this supposed to make us insecure? It seems like an extremely mixed message.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, What about my husband? What about husbands all over the world who are trying to lead their wives and are trying to fight the temptation of pornography and impure sexual thoughts? You do know that your stupid movie previews are all over the TV right now? We have to turn off the TV when your previews come on. Were you thinking about that?
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, Is it at all embarrassing that your own actors are ashamed that they are in this film? Doesn't that tell you something?! Don't even get me started on the fact that they knew about the book, got paid, filmed the move, and are just now embarrassed...
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, Have you heard of Sex Trafficking? Did you know that there are more slaves in the world today then there ever have been before? Did you know that many of them are sex slaves? Did you know that many of them are here? In our backyards? Did you think about that?
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, Did you know that this year there will be about 400,000 babies born who will be sexually abused in their lifetime? Do you think your book and your movie are going to help that statistic or hurt it?
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, What about all the women out there who are already being abused? Who have been thinking about escaping their abuser. Who have become brave enough to stand up against their abuser and say "Enough"? Did you think about them and the mixed messages you might be sending them?
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, You know what? As I think more and more about it, and as I write these angry words, I realize that I'm not mad at you. I know it sounds like I'm mad at you. I sound like a jerk, but really, I'm mad at the situation. I'm mad that this is everywhere, and that so many easily influenced people will see this, but I'm not mad at you. Even as I write this, I think about how lost you must be. How sad your life must be/have been to have written this. I don't mean that harshly at all. I feel extremely sympathetic towards you.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, I just want you to know I realize now, that I'm upset for you. Not at you. I'm really sorry that, as of right now, this is what your life is going to be known for. I'm sorry that you might go down in history for these books and this movie. I'm even sorry that you might like that. Because I realize how lost you are. I realize that you must not have true joy in your life.
- Hey 50 Shades of Grey, I can say all of this and not sound like a prideful biotch because guess what, I could easily be in your shoes. I did nothing to deserve the ability to recognize that the "literature" you put out there is not ok. I did not study harder, obtain higher goals in life, become a perfect person. Nope. I'm jacked up.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, I have a Savior. He saved me. I did nothing. NOTHING. He opened my eyes to see His goodness. He forgives my sins every day. I find my forgiveness in Him.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, Did you catch the part where I said, "He forgives my sins every day."? I hope you did because this is what I want to tell you. I am a sinner. Just like you. I do horrible things. I am not worthy of the joy of the Lord. I am not worthy of His mercy. I screw up on a daily basis. I am like 50 shades of filthy rags to Him, just like people are portraying you to be.
- But Hey 50 Shades of Grey, There is hope. He saved me, a sinner. He shows mercy on me, a sinner. I was lost, a sinner. I was blind, a sinner. I was sick, a sinner. But, He saved me. For no reason that I am worthy of, He sent His son to die for me...and you. Because I was just like you. I was lost. The only difference between the two of us is that you haven't looked up yet and accepted His grace that He wants to give you right now.
- Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, I don't hold any of this against you because who am I to cast the first stone? I'm sure as heck not innocent. I am still that same sinner I was before Jesus. I'm just covered in His blood now. I just pray that at some point in life you accept the beautiful love of God and Jesus. I pray that you find salvation and sanctification in Jesus Christ and that your story isn't a story of shame, but a testimony of God's love for His people.
- Cause Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, There isn't one follower of Jesus out there that wasn't jacked up and isn't still jacked up. You are not alone.
- So Hey 50 Shades Of Grey, please forgive all of us out there who have not shown the love of Christ to you. Please forgive all of us out there who have been hateful. We are just confused and angry, and we are sinners just like you. We get fired up because we can easily see the speck in another's eye and so often forget about the plank in our own.
"...He stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.'" John 8:7