I just wrote an entire post, and it all got deleted.
Just assume my first one was even more amazing than this one:).
This last Friday, our newborn foster twins of 5 weeks were taken away from us.
I guess they weren't even ours to begin with, but that is much easier said than accepted.
I don't claim to be an expert on foster care, but I have learned some stuff in the last few months of this journey, and I want to share.
My goal is to encourage you to sign up for foster care.
Reader: Ok, I am going to stop reading right now. I do not want to be a foster parent. That might be your thing, but I could never do it. It would break my heart. It's too hard. I don't have time for it.
I get it.
And, I don't think that everyone is called to foster care, so if you're not, you can keep reading just for the entertainment.
But, if you have felt any small calling or nagging in your life when foster care or adoption is brought up, I want you to read this, and consider.
You see, one of the things that is getting me through "my" girls being gone, is that I think that this is a platform that the Lord has given us.
I want to be an advocate for foster children, and I want to do that by convincing all of my friends, who have ever felt that nagging in their souls, to sign up and get a move on.
There are so many foster kids in the system whom don't have parents.
They want to be loved.
They need to be loved.
For forever or just for a few weeks or months, they need to be loved.
I am not here to tell you that it is easy.
It is difficult. It is time consuming. It is exhausting. It is heart breaking.
But, It is also beautiful, joyous, contagious, and freeing.
We aren't always called to what is easy.
Serving God isn't easy.
It's not always fun.
However, it is what we are supposed to do.
Christine Caine (a Christian speaker) says it best, "The Goal Is Obedience. Period."
I have found that some of my most amazing and intimate times with God are when I agree to be obedient to what He has asked of me, even if it terrifies me.
I have heard it referred to as putting your "yes" on the table.
...being willing to do whatever He asks you to do.
It is terrifying. It is uncertain. It is inconvenient.
(Trust me. Moving to Guatemala for a little under two years was all of the above.)
But, it is what we were made to do, and while it is awesome, it also sucks.
I think that fostering is like getting a big beautiful gift, and then getting a swift and painful kick in the nuts.
It is beautiful.
You get this precious child (or children) who needs you, who needs to be loved.
You get the satisfaction of doing what God has asked you, and even though it will not be easy, it is rewarding.
A few weeks, months and even years later, you get your kick in the nuts when CPS finds a family member for that child/children to go back to.
Some people are chosen to keep their foster children. They get to adopt these precious ones.
Most are not.
Most have to give "their children" back to the system, and just let go.
It's almost like losing a child to death.
You say goodbye, and that is it.
You never see them again.
You have no idea how they are, if they are safe, if they are loved, if they are being cared for.
They are just gone.
Reader: Sarah, you are not helping your case here. This sounds horrible.
It is horrible.
It is a time when you grieve your child.
Because to foster well, you have to love well.
You love your foster child like you would your own.
Then they are gone.
It's not about us.
It's about God.
It's about serving Him.
It's about laying down our lives for others, just like He did for us when He sent us Jesus to be adopted into His family.
We are called to care for the widows and the orphans.
Once again, I know this isn't for everyone.
But is it for you?
I would encourage you to pray about it on your own, pray about it with your husband (if you are married.)
And then listen.
Listen to what God is telling you.
If you are still feeling this nudge, call me. Message me. I love our foster agency, and I know many more fabulous ones in the area.
I would love to help you through the process.
It will be one of the most beautiful things you have ever done, and it will be one of the hardest.
It will be hard on the kids you already have, but it will also teach them that it is not all about them. That the Christian life is about serving others. Not ourselves. And what a beautiful example you can show daily to your child/children. What empathy they will have for others as they grow.
I don't claim to be an expert. I am a baby foster parent, but I am grieving right now for my baby girls, and I still think this is one of the most rewarding and beautiful things we can in our lifetime.
So, think about it. Pray about it. Stop making excuses. Then, obey.